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I Was So Lost, But Now I Believe

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Carry This Picture by Dashboard Confessional on Grooveshark

[A jade plant, for luck, at my friend Tina's house, taken March 2012.]

I quit my job today.

Not in a "see you never, I'm leaving" sort of way, but I gave my notice. On May fifteenth I'll be closing the book on my coffee shop career. It has served me well, to be a barista while I was a student, but I'll not be a student for much longer, and it's time for something else. 

This summer is going to bring a lot of changes.

I'm moving back to the lake. Rob is going to China, then to live and work in northern Virginia for seven months. I am so proud of him for landing a great job that he's excited about. I am so excited to one day feel what it's like to be excited about a career. I feel lucky to be able to say that in all the uncertainty that clouds my future, he is one thing that I can always be sure of. So I'm going to live with my parents while he starts this new job.

Until then, I'm not sure what my plan is. I haven't found a job for myself in Roanoke, yet, but I feel good about it. I'm really learning to let go and trust in the universe/God's plan for me. There's really only so much you can do so far in advance. I know that there will be writing. There will be time with my family. There will be food. There will be love. 

And then, a permanent home together; time for me to finally start a career of my own; somewhere to put down roots. These are the things that await us.

I can wait another year.

25 comments:

  1. I love Dashboard! Also, this post is awesome. It's so hard to just go with the flow sometimes, but it sounds like you have a great attitude about it!

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  2. ur attitude of acceptance and hope in the midst of change of very refreshing. God definitely has a plan for you and your future! it will be exciting to see what happens!

    and ps. a dashboard flashback is ALWAYS a good idea. so thanks for that :)

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  3. i just know that things are going to turn out awesome for the both of you! if you ever need to vent, holler at me :)

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  4. Congrats! As hard and nostalgic as it get when you leave a job, I ALWAYS find something cathartic about just being free from one - no matter how much I loved it. I know the future seems scary right now, but you're such a patient person that I bet it will go so well! Can't wait to hear about your adventures this summer - we should definitely do something this summer as well! (Now that I'm of legal age!)

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  5. Wow! That is all so much to hope for and look forward to. It will be interesting to see what this year of waiting holds.

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  6. i remember feeling so overwhelmed about graduating and starting a career. i didn't know where to start but everything fell in place as it should. there is such a sense of freedom in starting over too. the possibilities are endless! you got this!

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  7. I'm waiting too :) Can't wait to feel what it's like to land that "dream job," but in the meantime I'm also open to that "good enough for now" job as well...wherever it is.

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  8. Exciting! I think change is good sometimes, even if it is a bit scary. :)

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  9. "I feel lucky to be able to say that in all the uncertainty that clouds my future, he is one thing that I can always be sure of"

    yes yes yes. this is exactly where i am too and even though it must be scary for you to have him leaving for a little bit, and you to not have concrete job plans, you know it'll all be okay. i know it'll all be okay. we are lucky to have that security in love to know it'll all turn out alright. probably better than we can even imagine.

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  10. Major props to you for being so patient and calm about this all - I'd be freaking out! I think it's lovely though that you're able to let go and just go where life takes you, and so exciting to see where that is! Best of wishes!

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  11. I'm proud of you for chasing your dream, girl. It's so important - I have always been a dream chaser and I believe fully in paving your own path.

    Lots of luck!!! <3

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  12. Good look with everything you do! I'm sure you can handle anything you want to.
    And I'm excited to follow you along your journey :)

    xx Nora

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  13. Change is good, especially coming into summer. Makes everything feel new and fresh. I wish you luck with it all.

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  14. I'm glad you have a plan, I think that helps change feel a little more comfortable. I think taking steps down your dream career path is a great change and I'm sure it was scary! It will be hard to be apart from Rob, but I bet the time will fly with all of these big changes going on.

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  15. Wow big step! Isn't it exciting when your life can take ANY direction?

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  16. Exciting changes! And I love your attitude. It is good to just see what happens and not try to control every little thing :).

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  17. This is beautifully written. What you said, " I feel lucky to be able to say that in all the uncertainty that clouds my future, he is one thing that I can always be sure of," really made me think. Even having a "career," I am constantly questioning myself, my choice. I definitely feel like my future is full of those clouds of uncertainty. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to just up and go...move to a new place. You reminded me though that I am so lucky to have D...I am sure of him and the wonderful life we have together. Thanks for this :)

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  18. Sometimes it's beneficial once you take a step forward, to take one backward, just to assess what your game plan is and what you want for your future is where you're going. Love your plan!

    -Loree

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  19. Wow, that is so brave! Had you considered going to China with him, then to northern Virginia or do you prefer to stay with your parents? Just wondering!

    I'm in the same in-between space that you're in (or will be in once you graduate -- congrats :]). It's a weird, but good "floating" time. I'm trying to use this year to work on myself & that kind of thing.

    I hope this is a great year for you -- lake, food, family all sounds great!

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  20. Thanks so much for linking up to the Sunday Blog Hop. I am of course following you.

    Danielle @ Blissful and Domestic
    www.blissfulanddomestic.com

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  21. Good luck with this new amazing and exciting adventure!

    There are so many good things that are waiting ahead of you. Enjoy the time with your family!

    http://unpublishedworksofme.blogspot.co.uk/

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  22. I am really excited for you, sweetie!!! Change is always good and good luck on your adventure. Have a wonderful Monday morning. xo

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  23. Good for you- such an exciting time! It's hard to remember this, but things work out for a reason.

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  24. Congrats on a brave new start! My husband and I had an awkward period right after grad school when we were trying to figure out jobs and life and i was living with my parents. But three years later, we're celebrating our two year anniversary and loving the careers we prepared for. It takes a little patience but everything will come together!

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  25. I just stumbled upon your blog. Such a fun time of changes. I remember going through those exact changes and I have to tell you that trusting in God's plan for my life was the only peace that I had. :) He doesn't let you down and will provide for you far beyond your imagination if you put your trust in Him alone :)

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