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Guest Post | Learning to Date My Husband

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I have a guest post for you today from Belinda of Found Love, Now What? I wanted her to share a bit of her story and experience with a long-distance relationship, and tell us what it was like to move from the United States to the United Kingdom. The distance between Minnesota and Virginia that Rob and I navigated doesn't seem like it was so bad when I talk to friends like Belinda and Betsy, who have been separated by the Atlantic! But anyway, here's Belinda:

Why hello lovely little jelly beans! My name is Belinda, and I am the gal behind the blog Found Love, Now What? On my blog, I share musings on life as an expat in the United Kingdom with my British husband. When Megan asked me to share a few thoughts on our big matrimonial and international move-in, I was excited to be invited to share our out of the box love story by such a lovely blogger!

You see, my love story with my husband is a bit different than a traditional love story, which is wonderful and challenging all in the same moment. Neal and I met in a New York bar in September 2010, completely by chance. {Just between you and I, the evening was fueled mostly whisky and cheap beer. Magic, right?} From that moment, we were in a long distance relationship, spanning 5,000 miles and 8 time zones for the course of 18 months. We were married in May 2012, and a short 10 day later we were on a flight bound for my new home the United Kingdom.
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Sounds like a whirlwind? Oh, it was. My move to the UK meant that we were living together, newly married, in a new country for myself all while being in the same time zone for the first time. Essentially, the learning curve was huge. And funny enough, I quickly realized I had to learn how to date my husband. The adjustment from a 5,000 mile long distance relationship (LDR) to normal everdays, has been interesting to say the least, but I have learned a few lessons I thought I would share.

1. Communication: When we were in a LDR, we used technology like Google Hangout, Texting or Skype to stay in touch. {Heck, we even got engaged over Skype. But that’s another story for another time.} Now that we are in real life, we have to {get this} talk to each other. Which means, put down beloved technology and just be. To start, we are having one unplugged night each week, where movies and games are on the agenda rather than Twitter or Facebook. So far, so good.

2. Fight Fair: When we were apart, disagreements were easily solved: Chat about it later after both have time to cool off. Now? We can’t really do that. If we have a disagreement, it typically means we are not listening to each other and we need to use a bit of empathy to come to a compromise. There isn't any way we can hide, like when we were 5,000 miles apart. I can't ignore Neal in-person, like I could have ignored a text message or avoided his calls. When you are in-real life, you have to face disagreements like big kids and solve them together.

3. Enjoying Big & Small Adventures: One of my favorite things about being next to Neal’s side is that we are able to have countless adventures together. Some are big, like heading to Paris for a week while others are a simple like a walk in the forest. We are explorers: seeing new places or experiencing new cultures is a pastime we both love, and we appreciate the adventures big and small.

Well, there are a few of my observations in learning how to date my husband for the first time, since going from an international long distance relationship to a marriage filled with everydays. It's been a major learning curve for this crazy Type-A girl, but well worth it of course.

Thanks for having me Megan! Feel free to pop on by and say hello! I love meeting new people!
 

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