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In Which Rob Shares A Bizarre Habit of Mine with You

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I tried to write an introduction to this post, but I can't seem to do it justice. So without further ado, I give you my boyfriend.

Hello, boys and girls. Rob here.

I was asked to take a minute out of my time to comment on what it's like to live with the Freckled Italian herself. Although she has many adorable qualities, it can be quite creepy to sleep next to Megan sometimes.

What comes to mind when you think of a horror movie? Do you think of small, pale children murmuring nonsense coupled with maniacal laughter in the middle of the night? Well, that's just a reality for me.

Megan often laughs and murmurs in her sleep. I've learned how to take advantage of the situation, so I ask her questions about what's so funny or what she's saying. Here are a few of the most recent conversations we've had while she was deep in her dreaming. (By the way, she never remembers any of these).

Megan: It's already in it.
Rob: What is?
M: The stuff is already in it.
R: What stuff?
M: I already put the stuff in it!

M: It...it just bothers me. I don't know. I just don't get it.
R: What bothers you?
M: It's just a little button!

Perhaps a Pinterest inspired chat:
M: It's so ugly.
R: What's ugly?
M: Her pins! She just has such ugly pins!

M: Naked cats.
R: What?!
[she laughs, a lot]
M: Naked cats. Just some puppies or somethin? Like a cappucino. I remember watching the puppies.

And then, sometimes I get these one-liner beauties:
"Extra energy beat!"
"The kids are buried over here."

PS from Megan:
This is just a fraction of the things that I say when I'm asleep. Rob actually writes a lot of them down when they happen. He's agreed to grace this blog every month or so with some hilarious sequel posts! Also, I am awake as I write this.


  1. I can't stop laughing!

    This is uber funny because, I too, am a sleep-talker. My favorite has been the Transformers inspired picture episode. I love waking up to these hilarious conversations but I'm usually mortified what will come out of these. haha

    Glad to know I'm not alone :)

    a cup of subtle tea

  2. Absolutely hilarious!! My youngest daughter does this very same thing while my oldest will sit straight up then lean up against you as if she's in a recliner. Creepy sleepers. Hahaha!

    As for me...the first 5-10 minutes of sleep, I will startle myself with my snores. Pitiful, right?

  3. this is so fantastic!! i love that you just yell "BEANS" randomly!!! next time, i want video.


  4. Ahahaaha xDD This is fantastic! I'm a sleep-talker as well, though it tends to happen in phases. I've also been known to just get up in the middle of the night and do bizarre things, like take glasses out of cupboards and whatnot.

    But yeah, I totally just snorted out loud in the middle of class.

  5. hahaah oh my gosh, is this foreal? you are hilarious, this post is hilarious. i am interested for the sequels!!
    my nana used to CRACK us up when she took naps because she would talk to herself all the time.
    very entertaining.

  6. oh i can't wait for more of these.

  7. Murmuring while sleeping would creep me out so much! You look cute while you sleep, even if you may be possessed :]

  8. omg, this is amazing! My fiance talks in his sleep all the time too! I think I need to start writing his convos down! LOVED THIS! Thanks for sharing :)

  9. "the kids are buried over here"? what kind of crazy is your subconscious trying to repress?

    also, adorable that he guest posted for you. best boyfriend ever award.

  10. Hahaha, this is too much! SO funny. Can't wait to hear more of these!

  11. Hahaha!! I definitely think he should keep sharing these every once in awhile.

  12. This gave me a good giggle! I often talk in my sleep, though not so often that it's a regular thing. However a few nights ago, in my sleep I sat straight up, shook Jen awake and said "Where is he?! Where is the stay puft marshmallow man?!" and than laid down. SO weird. XD

  13. I have heard Rob do these in person and they are hilarious, but reading it I laughed so hard I cried! Mom

  14. hahahahahahahha I remember you telling me abou this..holy heck this is hilarious. The Pinterest one = so funny...the kids burried one = terrifying!

    hahahaha so funny!

  15. That's hilarious. And your boyfriend is so sweet to agree to write on the blog every so often. Even if he is poking fun at you.

  16. That is hilarious! My boyfriend is the one who talks in his sleep. I told him I'm going to record it next time because he doesn't believe me. Looking forward to more!

  17. Haha haha haha :) I love this! Thomas says I talk in my sleep, but I don't respond to him if he talks back. My sister {that I shared a room with when I was little} tells this story about my sleep talking... apparently I repeatedly said "But I'm only a LITTLE PALM TREE"...makes me wonder what I'm dreaming about!!

    -- Eliza

  18. Cannot stop laughing. Why haven't I hung out with you AND your boyfriend??

  19. Laughing. Out. Loud. Not in the "lol, that's funny" way. In the "actually gasping for air". You had me at "Like a cappucino." You are a gem.

  20. Just died laughing. Good werk, Robert. I think he should video post you sleep talking.

  21. This is hilarious! Funniest thing I've read in a while. I wish I wasn't at work, so I could actually laugh ... instead, I think I've given myself a hernia.

    - Emily


  22. oh, please oh, please make this a monthly post!


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