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The Road Not Taken

Friday, January 18, 2013

Rob is flying to Minnesota this morning to look at apartments.

I think it was late November when it first came up--there was a huge opportunity for him in St. Paul, and the project would give him a ton of experience, and the company really wanted him to do it. It was exciting, and I was so proud of him, and they want him to start on February 4th, and it didn't really feel real until last week.

It was equal parts fear and denial that kept me from saying anything, both here and in my daily life. I mentioned it to a handful of people when I needed to talk about it, but that was it. I've learned, after almost six months of being apart and having great jobs in different cities, that too many people ask me too many times, what are you doing; what's your plan?

What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm at work. And we're making it work.

Yesterday afternoon it started snowing and it didn't stop until late last night, and I cuddled up on the couch by the fire with a cup of hot chocolate and tried not to think about how fun these nights usually are when you aren't alone.

My office is opening late this morning, so I took a walk with my dog through the dusting that's already starting to melt. I thought about the snow here, and the snow in Minnesota, and my Rob, and how this is going to be really hard, but eventually really good. With hope and faith and love and boots and Dividend Miles, we'll figure it out.


The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

30 comments:

  1. I love this and I love you. You are the strongest + the coolest :) As you already know, everything is going to work out for the best! Any chance you'll be going too? xoxo, eliza

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  2. Of course it will work. Whatever it is, it will work. I asked James why it was so easy for some couples to live in the place they wanted to live together etc etc and he said "It's not easy for them, that's just they're thing. This is ours"...

    This is yours.

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  3. You can do it. And you're right, you are making it work, and you'll keep making it work. Also, I grew up in Minnesota, and I love St. Paul. It's absolutely a beautiful city, full of lakes and trees and coffee shops.

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    1. Thanks Amy! I'm excited to visit. You'll have to give me some recommendations--I've already got a restaurant list going!

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  4. Dividend Miles! You're going to have to do a post on how to pack for a quick weekend flight :)

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  5. Beautifully said. I hope you all the best and completely understand awkward questions making their way into everyday conversation. The accusations and judgements are wasted feelings from others.

    All the best to you :)

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  6. I love that Robert Frost poem, and it seems perfect for you right now. Everything works out the way it's supposed to!

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  7. The more I read your blog, the more I realize how strong you are. Its incredibly hard to be away from someone you love and to just "make it work" and you do it with such grace. I know there are times you probably feel weak and miss Rob terribly and don't feel so graceful, but in those times you seem to just know that it will work out in the end. I admire that about you Megan! I wish you both the VERY best!

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  8. I love you! This will be an exciting new chapter for Rob and for you. I'm always here and a phone call away if needed :)

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  9. Stick with it. These days/years of long distance SUCKSUCKSUCK (I still start crying when I think about the time I was in Illinois and Ben was in Baltimore ugh) but they will pass. Having the person you love in your life but far away is so much better than not having them at all. But feel free to chuck your phone at the wall and scream, it sometimes helps.

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  10. I wish you two the best! :) Everything will be ok!

    http://marilovescupcakes.blogspot.com.ar

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  11. Hi, you don't know me but I read your blog constantly and adore it. I just wanted to say that you are an inspiration (even though you may not know it), and that reading your blog has gotten me through the most difficult times in my life (finishing doctorate, breaking up with longtime boyfriend, etc.) Furthermore, you never know how strong you are as a person until you have to go through something tough. You'll both make it, and you'll be better for it at the end. Good luck, to both of you.

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    1. Meg,

      Your comment made my day! Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm so glad I could be there for you with my blog. It is truly an honor.

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  12. You always have the best way of putting things. Even though I've never been in a relationship that long distance before, my heart goes out to you, Megan! I know how hard it can be. But I know you'll get through it!

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  13. I've always been awed by your strength in dealing with a long distance relationship. My (now) husband and I were long distance for about a year and it was one of the toughest times on our relationship (it's been 8 years and there have certainly been tougher) - but it was also a time where we learned so much about our relationship and really grew as a couple. I wouldn't change it for the world. I wish you guys the best as you navigate this change. It sounds like with a relationship like yours, you can beat anything. And as a side note, I live in Minnesota (St. Paul is my hometown, in fact). I'm biased but I love it here - so visit him often, I think you will love it too!

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  14. You will be fine!! It is hard, and it is work, and there are tears, but it is also totally worth it. My now husband and I were long distance for WAY too long. We started dating when I was a graduate student in Chicago, and he was a graduate student in South Carolina. We saw each other at first just once a month. (We had known each other since we were 15 though so there was a lot of background.) We each had a year and a half left in our programs. Yikes. Then I got a job first in Indianapolis. He moved back to Indiana and just substitute taught (with his master's degree in hand) for about 4-5 months just to make sure we could live in the same place and do this. (We could). THEN he moved back to the job waiting in South Carolina and we were long distance from Indy to SC for about another year and a half, until I finally got a job there as well and moved. The worst part is always the goodbyes at the airport. Always. BUT BUT BUT it will make you strong and you will appreciate your time together (every little second) that much more. I'm really sorry you have to go through it, and I'll be thinking about you! I wish none of us had to do it ever, but I know you can make it work!

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    1. Thank you! It is hard work, but it's worth it! I appreciate your support!

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  15. Lady, you got this. If there is anyone who can handle it, it's you. It's just a phase too - you guys won't always be apart. And know that when you are together it will be that much sweeter :) Thinking of you! And whenever you just want to hang out in the DC area you know I'm your girl!!

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  16. yes to all of these things and much love to both of you and in the meantime we can have dates in DC or CHO :)

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  17. I'm so sorry that you're having this struggle, but so glad that you have this place to work through all your frustrations. It will be a really helpful tool now, and something to look back on later, so that you can always remember how hard you worked to get to the place where you could be together.

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    1. Thank you! I look forward to being in a place where I am looking back on this time!

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  18. 1. I first read this poem in the seventh grade. I was introduced to it by Mr. William Smith, my advanced lit teacher. He followed my progress as I went off to high school and he became the principle at the junior high. I didn't even know he still thought about me until I graduated and received a lovely gift from him and his wife. He was the second teacher to really add value to my life, when value was hard to be found.
    2. Life is an adventure. All the planning in the world is for naught, so give up, give in, and enjoy the ride.

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    1. It's one of my favorites! I love Robert Frost. And thank you for the wise words!

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  19. This post is great...I haven't read that poem in a long time, but it meant the most to me today than it has ever made before! Thanks for bringing me back to it. I'm where you are, trying to figure what is best and how to "just deal" when I have to.

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  20. This is a bit of a weird coincidence. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months, but have never commented. Just admired anonymously. But I have to tell you that I too am taking a job in St. Paul on February 4. I currently live in Arlington, VA. Arlington/DC has been my home for the past 3.5 years, and to leave the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had here is really, really hard. I am beyond sad. To the point that I can’t even really talk about it much, yet. I’m probably still in denial a little bit. So while the situations are a little different, I feel your pain so much. But it'll all be okay, you guys got this :)
    And though you guys don't know me (I promise I'm nice! :]), let me know if there's anything I can do, or if you have any questions.

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  21. love this post and the poem.
    my english teacher gave it to me when I graduated from high school.
    Stay positive, Megan. You can do it!

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  22. Thinking of you. A good friend was in a local relationship with her guy for two years before he was transferred for work . . . and they then spent two years flying back and forth across the country to see one another until he was able to move back to the D.C. area. They're married now with a little boy -- and as in love as ever! You will find a way to make it work . . . and everything will be awesome. Hang in there.

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  24. ah! Minnesota! I live in Minneapolis. Distance is terrible, terrible but I really think you both will love it here! (if you can stay warm.) :) there are so many great things to do and nothing beats Minnesota Nice! He will be in good company.

    If you need any info about living in the Twin Cities, let me know!

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